Last night me and my boyfriend Spence went to Buxton to see Ross Noble perform at the Buxton Opera House.
My Mum picked us up about 2 o’ clock and dropped us off at the Pavillion Gardens. I showed Spence around Buxton, taking him through the park, the hot house, showed him St Ann’s well where spring water comes straight out of the ground, and the main shopping area Spring Gardens.
I felt a bit sorry for him as I dragged him through the shops looking for presents for some upcoming birthdays. We went into Currys just for the hell of it and into Waitrose as Spence has never been in one before!
As we walked up the hill to my house, I pointed out to him all the buildings, like the university, Palace hotel, the town hall and Trinity Church.
As I began to cook some food, my brother came home from school. He’s grown so much! He has even started to grow hair on his chin! He said he missed me alot, which is nice to hear from my brother.
I was worried about what Spence would make of my family (and the state of the house!) but he hasn’t run off to the hills just yet! 
We left about 7 with my sister. Before I was going out with Spence, I bought a ticket for myself, which was Seat 16 in Row G. When I was going out with Spence, I thought he might want to come along too, so I bought two more tickets, on Row D seats 28 and 29. So my sister got my first ticket, but she didn’t want to sit on her own, but I wasn’t going to let Spence sit on his own either!
the four headed ross monster a.k.a 'Steve'
Ross Noble’s shows always have some weird thing in the background on stage and this had the weirdest ever. It was a monster with four of his heads, a tortoise’s body, lobster arms, wings, dragon legs and octopus tentacles. Truly bizarre.
With every passing minute I got more and more excited at seeing Ross Noble live, and frequently did my fast clapping that I usually do when I get really excited about something. Then the lights dimmed and Ross Noble came on stage.
It was hilarious. I have never laughed so much. My cheeks were sore and even my teeth began to hurt. Highlights were when someone came in late they had to have their face stroked, Pat the hairdresser in the front row who was Ross’ personal moral barometer, you change into a woman when you get off the train at Macclesfield, moles tunneling into the Opera House, Beyonce punching a pig to death on a treadmill (which went on for ages!) Jade Goody, Axel Rose and the students on the front row.
At the ‘piss break’ as Ross calls it, my sister came over and just plonked herself onto my knee after I got her an ice cream, and began to talk about how she was sitting next to the worse people ever.
I loved the ‘any questions’ section at the end, when Ross talked about his 6 month old daughter, how she has a frisbee face and when his wife was in Baby Gap, he just walked past her saying ‘What a f***king ugly baby!’. The woman didn’t in the shop didn’t know they were married and just looked shocked!
Another story was when he was buying clothes for his daughter. He said people who work in baby shops don’t seem to be able to get over the fact that everything they sell is teeny tiny. Every time the shop lady folded the clothes she went ‘awww’ which was driving him mad. The final straw was when she said ‘New baby?” to which he replied, ‘No, my wife is a dwarf’. It was brilliant!
At the end they were selling posters signed by Ross Noble, some of the proceeds are going to help people in Australia whose homes were destroyed in the bush fires. Noble virtually lost everything in the fire. I really wanted one and Spence bought it for me, which he didn’t have to, but it was sweet for him to do so 
